Tips for the New Stay at Home Mom

Hi There! This is a post that I have been so excited to write! I believe that the best, most qualified person to raise your children is YOU! I understand that these days most families need a dual income to function, but if your heart's desire is to be a stay-at-home mom, please know that it can be done! Let me share a few tips that I've learned along the way.

I have been a stay-at-home mom officially for 2 years, 6 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day (but who's counting?) ;-)

Tip #1: Finances

If you are going to drop down to a single income family, the first thing is to live within your means! Many families live pay-check to pay-check and never do a budget. If you don't tell your money where to go, you will likely wonder where it went. I HIGHLY recommend taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class to get a good grasp on finances, debt payoff, and building wealth. In the videos, Dave is quite humorous and very informative. I WISH I would have taken this class in my early 20's. What a difference that knowledge would have made.

It is really important to create a budget, and STICK TO IT! Dave Ramsey offers a free online budget tracker called Every Dollar. I have found this to be a VERY valuable resource. You can create, plan, and track your budget for FREE. I love that. Every Sunday when I have my weekly planning time, my every dollar budget gets updated with the week's receipts... That helps me see where we are, and how much is left for the month.

Tip #2: Being a stay-at-home mom will be the hardest thing you ever do...

... and yet, it will be the most rewarding.

I wish someone would have told me how much work it would be. There's an old saying that "the days are long, but the years are short," and I have quickly found that statement to be true. Your children grow up SO FAST, and you only have a short time to impress upon them the knowledge and experiences that you want to shape their lives. There will be days where you count the minutes until naptime and then again to bedtime. Then, there will be days that are so fun, that you wish they'd last forever.

For most stay at home moms, your days will be filled with preparing meals for your children, carpooling, cleaning & laundry, running the household errands, paying bills, and so much more. You will likely put clothes away in a dresser, only to have your toddler throw it out. ;-) Your most important task of all will be to love your little ones while you coach and train them for the day when they will leave your nest. We are raising our kids so that we can send them out into the world, and that is a pretty big job!

I wish someone would have told me about the exhaustion. Prior to leaving the workforce, I worked in the fast-paced office of a healthcare executive, where I managed (4) directors and filled in for several of the executive's assistants in the hospital. I had my hands in pretty much everything that made their day go round. (I thought I was tired then.) I adored my job and my bosses, but when I had my daughter, I knew that God's will for me was to come home and raise her.

While I would totally make the same decision, I was a little bit jaded when I became a SAHM. I knew that it would be a lot of work, I just never realized how much. I wish someone would have told me that there would be days that you would want to turn in your mom-badge. Then, when you think you might just do it, your sweet child would hug your neck and tell you that you are "the best mommy ever!" You will instantly melt. You see, us stay at home moms, we get paid with paychecks of the heart, and those are worth every ounce of the work!

Tip #3: Find a local mom's group

One of the biggest changes I noticed right away when I became a SAHM was that all my friends were in a different life stage. Some of my friends had babies right away after marriage, and their kids were already entering school. My other friends were newlyweds or single. We had just relocated to a new city in a different state due to my husband's job, and I had no friends or family nearby, no church, and very little help due to my husband's schedule. There I was, alone and feeling pretty isolated.

The best thing I ever did was find a local Mothers of Preschoolers group because those ladies became my first friends in my new town. We did playdates, attended meetings together twice a month, and they even threw me a sprinkle right before I had my son. These women were in my same life-stage and some even had children that were slightly older than mine... they had experience and a wealth of great advice with each new stage we ventured through. Having those ladies come into my life was a tremendous blessing!

Tip #4: Invest in Self-Care

You can't pour into others lives if you are an empty vessel. It is VERY easy to get run down, so you must refill your cup.

Get up and get dressed! Even if it's just jeans and a t-shirt, getting dressed will make a world of difference in how you feel. It is SO EASY to live in your jammies all day (we intentionally do it on Thursdays!) For a stay-at-home mom though, it is really important to get up and get dressed. Late-onset postpartum depression is a real thing (i had it) and just that one activity after my second pregnancy made a SIGNIFICANT difference in how I felt about myself. I felt like a real person, and I wasn't embarrassed when someone came to my door during the day. I could also relatively easily pick up and run out to do an errand if I needed too.

Showers - Ugh. This can be difficult when you have little children in your home. You try to sleep as much as you can, and by the time the kids go to bed, you are ready to fall into your bed too. With my first child, I would often bring her into the bathroom in a bouncy seat so I could see her while I showered. I did the same thing with my second, but then I also had a preschooler to entertain. So, I kept a small box with special toys that she only got to play with when mommy was having bathtime. She loved those special toys, and I loved that they kept her still and entertained.

Indulge - When you become a mom, something in your brain shifts and your thoughts tend to be all about your little people. Every now and then, you just have to do something fun for yourself! That could be a quiet trip to your local bookstore or coffee shop, or even a monthly girl's night out. For me, that is usually a soothing bath or a pedicure. About once a week, I get to soak in my bathtub with the soft glow of candles illuminating my bathroom (or at-home-spa as I like to call it. I get out of the house for pampering once every several months for a pedicure. I soooooo look forward to those times when I can get out by myself, relax, and enjoy being pampered... It's nice to have someone else take care of mom for a change! You have to find what it is that refreshes your soul, and do that!

I hope these tips have been helpful! There are so many more that I could share... maybe in a later post ;-)

Do you have a tip to share? Comment below!

** This post was not sponsored in any way. All thoughts and opinions are my own. **