Hospitality In Our Home: The Reality Check

Ever feel like life is just out of balance? Your boss just added 2 new projects to your already mile-long to-do list. Your husband needs your help, your kids have called your name for the 50-millionth time, your friend just called to ask if you could host another event, and all you want to do is disappear into a quiet closet for 5 minutes and not think. Your brain is on overload like an internet browser with 25 tabs open, and you're in survival mode. Yep, I've been there too, sister. In fact, if we are really honest with each other, most women have been at some point or another.

It's called overwhelmed.

I am a firm believer that our home is our first area of ministry. While God gives us many opportunities to show love and minister to those outside of our homes, we are to also pour into those people that live right with us!

1 Timothy 5:8 says:

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith..."

The portion of scripture (chapter 5 verses 1-24) discusses caring for different groups within the church. While this specific verse is found in the part discussing care for widows, when I read this, it made me think of how I should be caring for the people that live with me. If you are a parent, your children take most of their cues from watching your behavior (sobering thought, huh?). Wives, same goes for your husbands... so many times, how we act (or react) in our homes impacts everyone else. Ever heard that old adage that "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world?" Yep, it's true. Often, the woman of the house has significantly more impact than she realizes.

We can easily get distracted by something that needs to be done. Our plates are full, then someone asks us to do just one more thing, and poof! There goes our kind and gentle spirit right out the window.

If any of that sounds familiar, then It's time for a REALITY CHECK!!

1. ) How's your prayer life?

It never fails. Whenever I don't put God first in my day, everything seems to go awry.

When I first started implementing a morning quiet time, I started with just a few minutes. My goal was daily consistency, and I knew I could do that if I started out small. I kept a prayer list and read a small passage of scripture each morning. Most days it took me under 15 minutes, but what I discovered in those few precious minutes was priceless. See, I found that the more little tidbits of time that I spent in praying or reading scripture, the more I CRAVED that time with God, thus leading to longer quiet times. I also found that I was changing. I began thinking differently, and those inward changes began to flow outward. So, when I have a reaction that is not in line with God's biblical standard, then I know I need to stop, re-center myself in prayer, and let God take the lead. As my former pastor used to say, "take life moment-by-moment and trust God to help you make the next right choice."

2). How's Your Attitude?

Are you being short with your family? Um, Yes. We ALL do at some point, but what I'm asking specifically is - are you getting snippy more often or quicker than ever before?

When there is not peace and harmony in my home, that lets me know immediately that I need to start investigating to see what's going on. Sometimes it could be something as simple as I am over-committed or my expectations are too high. Sometimes it's someone in my family that is struggling in a particular area. At times the issues are more complex, but for the most part, if I can catch it in the beginning stages, the solutions are fairly simple.

Whatever the trigger is, the moment I find myself being snippy/short with my family or starting to complain, that is an automatic red flag that I need to pause, take a deep breath, and give myself an attitude check.

3.) Are you over-committed?

Are you too stressed out? Feel like your plate is overflowing with to-do's and commitments? Been there, done that. Saying no has always been hard for me... "type-Awesome" anyone? Yep, that's me. It has taken me years to get better at this, and I can still use some work. :-) Imperfect progress is what I like to call it.

When to say no...

Whenever I am asked to do a task or take on something new, the first thing I have to do is determine if it brings me a step closer to my life goals. You see, I sat down about 6 years ago and had a defining moment in my life. I thought about what I want my life to look like when I'm 80 and looking back on how I lived up to that moment. I decided that I wanted to be intentional with my life.

If something doesn't fit into those goals {or isn't clear direction from God}, I am learning to not commit myself to it.

You can read more about being intentional {HERE}

How to say no...

Often, people are in a rush and want an on-the-spot decision. Any time I have made a snap-decision, it's usually been the wrong one. So I have learned to say one thing has helped my significantly lower the amount of things I commit too. Wanna know what it is?

"Can I get back to you?"

This is a simple question that gives me the time I need to process what's being asked of me, consult my spouse, and then make an informed decision.

4.) Are you distracted?

It seems like these days we have so many more distractions than ever! It is SO EASY to get caught up in something, then look up and notice that a chunk of time has passed... social media feeds, anyone? If that's your distraction, then you might consider deleting apps that you tend to spend the most time on. If you spend too much time on the computer in general, you might consider setting a timer and learning to discipline yourself when it dings. Tech free weekends are also great options for eliminating distractions.

A mentor once told me that "People make time for the things that are important to them". I have certainly found this to be true for me. When something is important to us, then we become more focused on eliminating the things that are less important to us.

Today's thought: What can I eliminate to make more time for what matters most?

Thanks for following along my home-based hospitality journey!

- Kimberly