From Ashes to Beauty - Our Story of Miscarriage - Part 4

Oct 31, 2016

A Rainbow Indeed!

After my miscarriage, I tried to get my life back to some sense of normalcy. I resumed bible study and daily devotions. Around the end of June that year, I decided that I would like to read through Proverbs. I committed to a proverb per day. At the time, I will still diligent and intentional with my prayer life.

I remember the morning like it was yesterday. June 8, 2011. I remember sitting in my rocker in the living room before work praying and reading my bible. I remember the prayer I prayed. "God, I can't go through this again. If I can't bear any children, and that's not in your plan, then please close my womb. Don't allow me to get pregnant again. God, I just want to be a mom so much."

As I read Proverbs 6:8 that morning (remember, the proverb that coordinated with the date?), I had this overwhleming feeling that I needed to read Job 6:8. I'm not really sure why. At the time I had no clue who Job was. So I flipped over the pages in my bible and began to read...

"Oh that I might have my request; and that God would grant me the thing that I long for!"

{Job 6:8}

Y'all. I can't even make that stuff up! I was FLOORED! My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped. I mean, the shock of the prayer I just prayed, on the day I prayed it, and the scripture that was impressed on my heart at that moment. It was CRAZY! As I sat and read those words, alone in my living room, I cried... sobbed actually. God had promised to grant my request. I didn't know when or how, but He had promised me He would. In that moment, I had experienced God talking to me, and I KNEW it! It was an interaction that I can't even adequately describe. I mean, I have heard about other people experiencing stuff like that with God, but it had never happened to me... until then! He had become even more real than ever before. I closed my bible, laid my pen on the table, and thanked Him. I knew that everything would be okay... some how, some way.

About a month later, I had a menstrual cycle. It started on July 11th which was about a month after the God-wink experience. As I have shared before, I have P.C.O.S., which has resulted in infrequent cycles, so it's not uncommon for me to go months without a period. I say all of that to say this...

In mid-September, I had noticed over the weekend that I was incredibly exhausted and just wanted to sleep. I had mentioned it to my friend Amy, and she asked me if I might be pregnant again. I quickly said no, but as the day wore on, I began to think about it. On my way home, I picked up a package of pregnancy tests. I figured I would take them, they'd say no, and I'd just throw them away so that I wouldn't get James' hopes up.

TWO POSITIVES! Because you know, one isn't enough... had to take another one to be sure. When James got home that day I was just laughing hysterically. I couldn't believe it. I was laughing so hard, he thought it was a joke! I am terrible at telling jokes, and I almost always laguh so hard that I can't finish telling it. His first comment to me was laughter and he asked if it was a late April fools and did my friend Hayley (who'd just had a baby) pee on the stick for me. We both were in shock and couldn't believe it. Pregnant... again!

He has delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me...

{Psalm 55:8}

On September 21st, 2011, I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I was indeed pregnant again. I was excited an nervous. I spent the rest of my pregnancy being nervous and excited all at once. Due to the PCOS diagnosis and previous miscarriage, I was considered an elevated risk pregnancy, so my doctors kept a close watch on me.

In April & May of 2012, I had some complications with pre-term labor that was caused by... heartburn! FOR REAL! I am not even making that up. I was hospitalized twice over that mess AND put on bed-rest for a little bit. None of the doctors could figure it out, and finally a doctor who was as old as Methuselah determined what it was, and a treatment plan was in place.

My due date was May 30th, and my sweet little belle made her grand debut a week before! She is my rainbow baby! That girl has been prayed over so much, and it is incredible when I look at her and think about how she was the promise that God made to me... and two years later, her little brother joined the family! Two miracle gifts, that only God could provide.

I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.

{Psalm 18:1}

God is Good all the time!

Finding Joy in the Chaos of life,