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Grace Grows Best In Winter - Pt. 2
So after a rough Thursday, I was so grateful for a busy weekend that would become a welcomed distraction.
On Friday, I went about my normal activities of homeschooling, filling orders, chores around the house, and weekend prep. Anything that could keep me distracted from the events of the day prior.
It was on Friday that God began mending my broken spirit. I knew that there was nothing I could do to change what had just happened to me. So I prayed, and I laid it all down at Jesus' feet. I told God that I needed His intervening, and that I just had to step outside of this. I knew He had a plan, this was part of it, and I just couldn't see it coming together.
On Saturday, I joined some facebook groups for people with aHUS. I was curious about their experiences, so I posted in the groups and asked these questions...
- How long did it take you to get diagnosed?
- How long were your kidneys in failure?
- How has Soliris helped you?
The answers I got were SHOCKING! Many of them recommended changing doctors or seeking another opinion. While a few were never able to recover, an overwhelming majority of the responses were that they DID recover. There were people who were in stage 5 (end-stage) renal failure, who took 8-18 months to be diagnosed, had been on dialysis, on transplant lists, and yet when they finally got the infusions were able to regain kidney function & come off dialysis. Almost all said they had regained function to between 45-100%!!!!!
Seeing so many people whose bodies were worse off than mine and hearing how they were receiving healing and getting their lives back gave James and I hope!
It was a busy day for us - little league basketball game, then doing homecoming makeup for a friend's grand-daughter, and ending my day at a prayer meeting! I'm not sure how I made it through all of that when something as simple as a shower usually requires a 2-hour nap to recover - actually, I do. God was sustaining me and gave me the strength I needed to be where He had placed me for the day.
The prayer meeting I attended was hosted by a close friend, and it was what I imagine and old-fashioned, bible time prayer meeting was like. It was a small group gathered for a purpose. We took communion, had fellowship, and prayed! I can't explain it, but something POWERFUL happened and the Holy Spirit filled that room.
When I got home after the prayer meeting, another small miracle happened... I was able to eat for a THIRD time that day. I scarfed down a banana so fast, J looked at me weird and said "hungry much?" I said "starving!" with a smile. I haven't had 3 meals in a day since June. Another small glimpse of grace from God!
In the middle of the night, God woke me up to speak to me again. (If you're new around here, He does that whenever He wants my undivided attention). So at 1:30am, He told me to get out of the bed and pray. In my mind I said, "God, I'm so tired, I just want to sleep, and my bed is warm." He said to get up again and get on your knees. So I did. I got up, knelt by my bed and prayed. Afterward, I climbed back in bed, and God told me to go get my bible. I negotiated again. "God I'm SO TIRED. Please don't make me stay up." Go get your bible. In my mind, I said "God, I don't even know what to read." He said I'll show you. Then 1 Peter 7 popped in my brain. So I get up, get my bible & journal, and sit down at my kitchen island.
There is no 1st Peter 7, so I went to the 1st chapter, 7th verse, and right there in front of me was the confirmation of why I'm walking this road...
"that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tried with fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. - 1 Peter 1:7-8a
Immediately, I knew God was answering a question that I've asked him for 6 months. The why. I jotted down the verse reference in my journal, then wrote "testing my faith" & "exercising the muscle".
This trial I'm walking is meant to exercise my faith muscle. See, Mrs. Denise was right when she told me that "Grace grows best in winter. Without trials, we could never understand His grace that is so sufficient," and that's exactly what God is doing. He is teaching me things that I would have never truly understood the gravity of before. In the middle of the trial, He is making it known that He is the one sustaining me. My healing will only be by His grace. He is also teaching me to trust Him wholeheartedly, despite the circumstances.
Recently, I read that faith comes through prayer and time in God's Word, but I am learning that you also have to exercise faith like a muscle in order to build it. That means learning to trust God for whatever the situation is. This can be extremely difficult, especially when you are being met with discouragement and bad news at every turn... but, God. You can still have joy and peace in the midst of the fire. So right then, I prayed, and gave it all right back to God. I hear You, and I am trusting.
After the toughest & most emotional week of this journey thus far, I once again am feeling refreshed and refocused. God answered my prayer and has restored my faith & my peace.
We have some big decisions to make, regarding whether or not to risk a repeat biopsy.
Both James and I feel like Jesus is leading us to the Soliris infusion, so we also plan to reach out to the doctor and insist that the infusions be started asap.
SPECIFIC PRAYER REQUESTS:
Soliris Infusions would be approved & started
Upcoming appointment with the hematologist/oncologist on March 10th
That the genetic testing would return quicker than anticipated
That I would continue to feel well during this process
That my faith would be steady and strong
Thank you for being part of our journey...
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